Your baby is not going to marry Prince George

I realise this bodysuit is supposed to be cute. A bit of a joke. Really, I do.

BUT, it still irks me.

I’ll spare you any 1000-word tirade on what I don’t like about it.

Instead, I’ve decided to come up with a few slogans I wouldn’t mind my daughter or son  (hey, who says Prince George is going to be heterosexual?) sporting on a t-shirt, onesie or whatever floats their fashion boat.

Here goes:

1) One day: I’m going to work in a London Pub/American summer camp/Israeli kibbutz,  with a whole heap of other foreigners who all eventually realise there’s no place like home.

2) One day: I’m going to fulfil a lifelong dream. Maybe it will be sailing along the Nile, maybe it will be curing cancer or maybe it will be winning a major ping pong tournament. It’s up to me.

3) One day: I’ll fall in love. I might or might not get married. It doesn’t really matter. And the other person will love me just as much as I love them.

4) One day: I’m going to build a homeless shelter, or at least serve some soup in one. Then, I’ll never complain about the size of my house/sofa/bed/fridge ever again.

And the last, for now:

5) One day: I’m going to be a grown-up. For now, I’m going to enjoy being a kid. I’m off to eat some crayons/glue/glitter. Bye.

PS I realise points one to five aren’t exactly ‘slogans’ that would fit on most t-shirts. But you get the drift.

PPS Your baby is not going to marry Prince George.